


"Loosen Up"

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Tumblr Prompts, i wrote this horror at 3 in the morning, idek, kinda sucky, lets see what happens, wrote this as my english essay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21669853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bucky and Steve are adjusting to the 21st century life
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	"Loosen Up"

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3am, its kind of bad. You don't have to read it, I'm not gonna judge because idek if I would read it. But if you want to, keep scrolling to witness mistakes.

[earlier that evening, at the apartment in Brooklyn]

Steve has been trying to set Bucky up with a date for months now, claiming that he needed to “loosen up a bit” and “quit moping about.” 

Bucky did not want to go on said date.

Steve had told Bucky he needed to dress formally. That was three and a half hours ago, and he was already half an hour late for his date.

Steve walked up the stairs of their shared apartment and knocked on Bucky’s door. An assortment of bad language words muffled from the door could be heard as all of a sudden, the door was opened with such a force that it was ripped off its hinges. 

Steve looks Bucky up and down.

“I thought I told you to dress formally?”

If looks could kill Steve, he would be six feet under from the glare that he got from Bucky. 

“I am dressed formally. This shirt has no holes, the sleeves aren’t ripped off and I’m not visibly armed.” 

“Bucky nO-”

[driving in the car to said date]

Bucky turns on the radio to one of the oldies stations, and the voice of Sebastian Stan, the local radio host fills the car. 

“Welcome back ladies, gents and peeps, thanks for tuning in to WKC, playing all the oldies from the 30s and 40s, I am your host Sebastian Stan, and I will be back shortly after th-”

The personalised AI in Steve’s car whirrs to life as an incoming call from "tony stank" buzzes through.

Steve picks up without a second thought and almost straight away the yelling of the infamous genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark.

Bucky doesn’t pay any attention as the billionaire blabs on to his bestie about something crashing into something else and then BOOM SLAPSTICK TESSERACT, something else, HULK SMASH. 

That is equivalent to what he got out of a maths lesson in the 1930’s. 

Instead, he gets out the passenger seat when Steve stops the car and opens the boot. Inside, is the oh-so-legendary Captain America Shield, and the "i-smell-freedom" costume that also happens to a flag. 

Calmly, he takes the shield out as Steve starts to suit up into the spandex (carpe natem!!) After a moment of silence Bucky realises that Steve has finished getting dressed up in his over glorified flag costume.

“Bucky. The PUBLIC is in danger! Innocent lives could be lost!!”

Bucky, who was at this time, visibly sitting on the shield on the sidewalk in New York, refusing to move. 

“And my EVENING is in danger! Dude, bros before apparent threats to national security!”

“Bucky wtf-”

[Bucky has checked himself into a hotel, standing up his date]

After taking the stairs up to the seventh floor (the elevator is too hard to figure out how to work - all this new technology!) Bucky reached his hotel room. 

It was a hideously dark-blue, featureless, empty, shadowy, sumptuous, large and disordered, strangely rumpled, catastrophically untidy, fragrant, hapless, unprotected, immaculate, thick-walled, oddly sunken, low-ceilinged yellow tinged and rather austere, unused, curtained, scarred but serviceable, strophically untidy, sinful and a typically extra room on the seventh floor. 

There is one thing in the entire world that Bucky fears more than getting captured by HYDRA again. And that’s mice. And rats. The general rodent family. 

However, having spoken Russian for over 70 years while in and out of being in an icey pole coma ALSO while being the Winter Soldier, Bucky’s English tended to be a little bit...unclear at times. 

So, when his worst nightmare ran across the bathroom floor while he was just trying to shampoo his hair, Bucky’s life had another 13 years taken off it. 

Too terrified to try and rid the earth of the little devil gremlin, Bucky did the one thing that he probably should not have done; called the front desk. 

Everything was going well while he spoke to the receptionist, stating that he had a problem in his room, and how it was a very urgent matter, right up until he had to say what it was that was in his room.

You see, Bucky had forgotten the English word for mouse so instead of saying a rabbit or anything else distantly related or rational, Bucky goes with what he has been catching up on in his many lonesome hours at the apartment.

“You know Tom and Jerry?”

Bucky can almost see the confusion of the person on the other side of the phone.

“...Yes?”

“Well there’s a Jerry in my room.”

“Sir what now-”

[later]

Steve goes up the elevator to Bucky’s room. Upon entering the room however, he nearly cries when he sees the massive pools of blood covering the carpet and the walls. It was honestly like seeing a spaghetti meatballs from hell get barfed up by a child and then projected onto the walls by a catapult. 

A voice from behind him makes him do his shield-pose-thingy. 

“That would be the brain matter.”

Bucky’s face is so deadpanned and he looks so done with this shit its nearly laughable except for-

“Why is there BLOOD on the walls?? AND on the carpets??”

“I may have aggressively poked some people with a knife? Like a really big knife?”

“YOU STABBED SOMEONE??!!??”

NO! I aggressively poked them with a big knife. Repeatedly.”

“You have to be friendlier!!”

“I most certianly do not.”

[roughly a month later]

Steve stumbles down the stairs of his apartment, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself up so he can take on whatever made the loud crashes downstairs. 

He walks into the kitchen. 

“Bucky this isn’t what I meant when I said you should be friendlier.”

Bucky glances up, glares at Steve and starts passive aggressively stirring the coffee he was making for the two men who had obviously broken in moments before judging on their ski masks, crowbars and duffle bags. 

One of the men looks up at Steve.

“Two sugars in my coffee please and thank you.”

Bucky only glares and stirs more intensely as he says in a voice as sweet as honey;

“Coming right up.”


End file.
